You are the Beloved in sheep’s clothing,
I see you still.
You are the unsung song,
I hear you still.
You hide behind mountains,
I show you the path.
You drown in your sorrow,
I am your raft.
I am not here to save you,
You can do that.
I am here to hold you,
To listen, to guide,
To uplift.
To share deep wisdom,
Bolster your courage,
Shine my light on your shadows,
So, you may come home.
Kirsten Ivatts 2023
Bit by bit humanity is waking up. If you are reading this, you have begun to see the world and your place in it differently. Or perhaps you have been on this path for a long time and found it very lonely.
Your awakening may have happened very quickly, burning down everything, you thought you knew about yourself and the world. It may have been a gradual process, a series of small things that made you question your reality. Or you may be like me. You may have always been awake, and your path instead is one of a continual alignment with more of your own Soul.
What we all have in common is a knowing that things cannot go on as they are. We might not have all the answers, but we do trust that there is far more to life and this world than we can see, feel, hear, touch and taste with our five human senses. We can see the cracks where the light shines through.
If you are not living close to others who are on a similar journey it can be very lonely. At times you may believe those who question your sanity or doubt that what you sense with your energy is real, and this can lead to anxiety and depression. The shadows can look very real and far too big to tackle.
But that is just part of the illusion, and shadows are like smoke, obscuring the truth of who you are and what you are capable of.
The simplest thing I can share with you, as an awakened soul, is to focus on becoming self-aware. Be aware of what you say, what you think, how and when you judge, what you fear, what angers you, what brings you joy and happiness. Start disconnecting yourself from the status quo. You can do it little by little.
Stop being fooled into thinking you are a victim of society, religion, circumstance, health, finances, relationships. Victimhood is the biggest lie we tell ourselves, and it robs us of all our power to create the life that supports us.
Start meditating. Anything that helps you to stand back from the thinking mind for a little each day is helpful. The ego, which is your created personality, will try desperately to keep you bound in the story of your life, even when you can see this story is wrong. It will do it with thoughts, emotions, reactions, habits and beliefs.
Start asking yourself these questions:
You get the picture.
Each answer will pertain to a character in the story of your life. Even if it feels like you, it is NOT you. It is simply a character. Step back from it. If you are used to visualising or using your imagination, try to see the character. What is their story? Why did you create them? If you think you didn’t create them than you are still playing the victim role. Start referring to them, not as I, but as he or she or them or it. This helps you to be the observer, rather than being enmeshed in the story the ego is playing.
YOU are a sentient being, playing a game. This game is supposed to be fun and informative. Earth is one of the best places to learn from a 3D perspective and the highly advanced Soul that you really are, knows this.
It holds the blueprint to your perfectly healthy body.
Your path of awakening has one simple goal. To crack the illusion of what you thought life was and align with the truth. You are an immortal Soul, playing this game, writing this story, to rediscover yourself from a new perspective.
All the things you think you need to learn, are already there. Meditation is the state of being when residing within the body of the Soul. You can already meditate; you just have to remember that your thoughts and emotions are a costume you are wearing.
Abundance and money are so tangled together that we often struggle to see where they are different. People struggle to find abundance, yet you are already abundance. All you have to do is drop the story of the ego.
The same goes for love. The journey of unconditional love is an inner one. You will never find that love you seek with anyone other than yourself. You are the one you have been waiting for. And once you find you, your relationships will take on a whole new quality!
Surrender is a technique I like to teach people very early on. That and ‘not knowing’. It is OK to ‘not know’. If you can surrender fully and allow yourself the ease of not knowing, you allow yourself to relax, removing the pressure that keeps the wisdom from seeping through into your consciousness.
If you have an issue, surrender it. Put it down as if you removed a heavy rucksack. Flex your muscles, feel the weight removed. This leaves space and clarity for the solution to emerge.
But of course, the experience of it is anything but. The ego is strong, our story holds us in its grip, and we believe everything has to be so hard. Getting past these beliefs is challenging.
That is why I am here to help. I have traversed this path, and so many of its challenges over the last 56 years. I have a deep understanding of how it feels to be different, to struggle to find your tribe, and to embrace the more spiritual side of life in a way that feels right for you, rather than prescribed by others.
You are not alone, and you are not a lost cause. You may feel like leaving this planet, like your home is not here. This is simply your frequency rising and adjusting to living alongside denser vibrations.
Once you get closer to your Soul than your ego, life on this planet becomes a playful adventure. You see it’s true beauty and know that there really is no other place like it! And you will feel lucky and grateful to have had the chance to incarnate here.
Christmas is a time where feelings can rise to the surface. These feelings are triggered by others, if we see the world through a victim mentality, which is the most common viewpoint for humanity at this time. This viewpoint is so common that most of you reading this will be now feeling triggered by my words.
Before I go on, I must say that my words ALWAYS sit within the vibration of pure love. I look at you and see the beauty of a Soul that is an aspect, or personality of me. I see myself as an aspect or personality of you. We are all one.
When thinking about what to write about feelings today, the following came to me.
I asked my highest self for a message today through the Starseeds Oracle Deck. I am going through a time of transformation, much of which involves resting, unravelling patterns that have bound me to a life limited in perspective. But my senses are pointing to a time, not too far away, when I will be moving forward again, and so, each day I check in to see where inspiration lies (or is dormant).
My life ended a long time ago.
Again and again and again.
My dance with Set, in the liminal spaces, is a constant of endings.
But to have an ending there must be a beginning. There have been many beginnings.
The light of dawn creating muted colour in the grey water droplets of the mist, rising from the earth. The sun gradually dispersing the mist to reveal a new path.
I have become accepting of this unfolding, although not entirely comfortable. I have laid down my arms, the battle against the will of the Divine is not worth it. It is unwinnable. There is one piece of the puzzle that I remembered, that helped me to accept and gave me the courage to wave the white flag.
I know why I’m here.
Set has been a brother. An adversarial ally. He has shattered and scattered many versions of me to the four winds. Isis, Nephthys and Anubis have guided me to the pieces worthy of retrieving, helping me through the mysterious myst of undoing, unknowing, and ultimately putting me back together in a new form each time.
In this way I have lived many lives in one lifetime. And I am at the hard earned point of seeing the parts that have always remained, through all versions of me. These are my essence and what Set has been showing me all along.
And the Oak, emerging out of the violet hued mist on this October morning serves as the sturdy, rooted centre of that essence, anchoring it in the physical. My maternal family name meaning ‘head of the oaks’, and my deep resonance with my ancestral lands of England and Ireland. My spirituality grounded in Druidry and inspired by the cosmos. My ability to see and sense nature in many dimensions at once. These are all connections to my essence that I cannot ignore, but must gather close.
My voice, the understandings of the world that so many cannot yet see or believe. My yearning to convey the magic and mystery and awaken the many into their own voice and true self. The origins of my voice in the planet Mercury, that other trickster god.
My passion for truth and knowledge, esoteric and metaphysical, ancient and historical. My ability to see patterns beyond the veil of others’ understandings. My naivety and playful, childlike innocence, the deep love of love itself emanating from the peace and harmony that comes from communion with the Divine in every cell of my being.
All of these things are my essence, and yet there is so much that is more, indescribable, ethereal.
I can see her now, my essence, as she skips around the base of the Oak, golden hair flowing, not a care in the world. She laughs with a deep joy that only those truly at ease in themselves and the world they have created, can be. She is innocent, yet deeply wise. Animals flock to her, joining her dance, for they sense the shedding of the broken human and the integration of her Sovereignty. She is princess and queen. She is land and sea. She is sun and moon. She encapsulates the all into one simple form of pure delight.
I long to join her, to fully step into that interdimensional self, with more than just my etheric bodies. I know I will join her once more, when this flesh and blood body is depleted. I know how lucky I am to know my Soul while still breathing the air of Earth. I can embody her, feel my essence flowing through the energetic parts of me, and bring her memory back into the physical realm. But it is akin to the memory of a lover, that flow of ecstasy that lights up the body in deep connection with the other, yet is not sustainable for long periods of time.
Memories linger. They rise like the mist, feeding the roots of the Oak at my centre, entwining their roots through my heart, drawing me a little closer every single day. Allowing me to sip from the holy grail, the nectar of the gods.
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