The Conflict Between The Ego And The Conscious Observer

electrons Ego
January 05, 2023

Why is it that we can be aware of ourselves as a conscious observer, aware of our shadows, fears, and how to process through them, yet we still get dragged into the drama of life, and must, often with great effort, disengage ourselves all over again?

This conscious observer watches over it all and can stay separate, yet the ego still takes part in something we wish to avoid.

When this happens there is a gap between ego and soul. The gap is lessened the more that you hold onto awareness, but there is a vibrational mismatch between the observer and the ego. The problem occurs in the brain of every single cell within your body that has learnt how life is from the moment you were born. The programmes that run in your physical body, run regardless of whether you know better as the conscious observer/higher self. So, the question is, how to bring the two into alignment? Is that even possible?

Firstly, awareness of this mismatch begins a process of rewriting the program, (or the blueprint that has been constructed by the ego) that overrides the divine blueprint you were born with.

Secondly, being consciously aware of when the ego steps back into the drama that the higher self knows shouldn’t be attractive to it anymore (attraction happens whether the energy involved is classified as positive or negative), also helps to rewrite the programs running in the body. (The brain is part of the body and is like the main processing centre, but every single cell is involved and has its own CPU, the nucleus.)

But this rewriting takes time and energy. In reality it is a conflict between two vibrations that is draining, even though it is taking us in the right direction. The density of the energy in physical matter is part of the problem. That density means that anything from a lighter energy body/soul body takes time to permeate. Think of clay soil and now imagine pouring water onto it. The clay holds the water in most places, and only small amounts permeate quickly. The rest takes a long time. Your physical body would need to be dust to have any chance of merging its vibration with the astral body, and be completely invisible to the human eye, to merge with higher bodies in your Soul matrix.

Yet your body IS made up of atoms that are invisible to the human eye. It’s the vibration of that blueprint it runs that keeps the density.

So how can we relax the rigidity of these atoms to allow the ego to match vibrations with the conscious observer?

Well firstly we need to have a basic physics lesson.


What is inside an atom?

*Definition of an atom: atom, smallest unit into which matter can be divided without the release of electrically charged particles.

Most of the atom is empty space. The rest consists of a positively charged nucleus of protons and neutrons surrounded by a cloud of negatively charged electrons. The nucleus is small and dense compared with the electrons, which are the lightest charged particles in nature. Electrons are attracted to any positive charge by their electric force; in an atom, electric forces bind the electrons to the nucleus.* From

As you may be beginning to see, the majority of every atom is made up of a cloud of electrons, ‘the lightest charged particles in nature’. The nucleus is the smallest part of the atom (think peanut in a baseball stadium!) In fact you are 99.9999999 percent empty space! Or rather 99.9999999 percent waves of light.

Read this article for a much better understanding.

I am not a scientist, but I want to draw your attention to something I find fascinating.

‘In our quantum Universe, we frequently talk about wave-particle duality, or the idea that the fundamental quanta that make up the Universe exhibit both wave-like and particle-like properties, depending on what conditions they’re exposed to. If we go to higher and higher energies, the quanta we’re examining act more like particles, while at lower energies, they act more like waves.’

As you know, a wave goes up and down, it has peaks and then drops into deep gulley’s. This is a good metaphor for life…we have those high moments and the low moments; our energy follows the wave pattern. Now read this:

‘We can illustrate why by examining the photon: the quantum of energy associated with light. Light comes in a variety of energies, from the ultra-high energy gamma rays down through the ultra-low energy radio waves. But light’s energy is closely related to its wavelength: the higher the energy, the shorter the wavelength.’

The higher the energy, the shorter the wavelength. We often talk about working towards merging with our light body. This would mean becoming ‘enlightened’. It is what all those Buddhist monks in caves or mountain tops have been trying to achieve (and many succeeding) for centuries. Can you see how this is a physics process…a physical universe process, as much as it is an awareness process?

Many of us are at the point where we still experience the drama in a situation in our lives, yet we move through it far more quickly than we once did. We regain our equilibrium and understand the learning we gained. We are self-aware to the point that we understand how we let our ego get embroiled in the lower vibration, and we also understand the way to get back to our balanced state again. Yet most of us are NOT aware of what happens in the body. If your electrons are highly charged waves of light zooming around each cell, they have become short, rather than long waves. The peaks and troughs are minimal. This means that getting from the beginning to the end of each wave takes less ‘time’ than it would with a slower moving wave. Are you beginning to see? I am over simplifying, as much for your benefit as for mine!

Now read this:

‘If you were to send a high-energy photon or particle in there to interact with an electron, sure, you could pin down its position precisely. But — and here’s where quantum mechanics trips most of us up — the act of sending that high-energy particle in there fundamentally changes what’s going on inside the atom itself. It causes the electron to behave like a particle, at least for the moment of that one interaction, instead of like a wave.’

This is WHY some places, plants and people bring on ecstatic states or peaceful states or inspire us and basically make us feel better. It is why those monks meditate on mountain tops or in caves…these are the places where our electrons start behaving as particles…without all of those peaks and troughs.


So, in answer to my initial question: Why is it that we can be aware of ourselves as a conscious observer, aware of our shadows, fears, and how to process through them, yet we still get dragged into the drama of life, and have to, often with great effort, disengage ourselves all over again?

The ego, attached as it is to the physical body and the atoms it is made from, is mostly experiencing a wave formation, and so it gets dragged down into the troughs as well as experiencing the highs. The higher self is made up of something else. A particle, a quanta…? The higher self is energy that is aware and is vibrating so fast that is seems like a single point of light. It has no peaks and troughs until it merges with the electron waves in the body and becomes the ego. It separates itself into duality so as to experience life in a body.

Which of course is our purpose…to experience life with all of its peaks and troughs. But now we are hell bent on merging back into the higher self, which is the death of humanity as we know it. This human body, adapted (perhaps genetically mutated on purpose) to enable the singularity of light to experience life at a denser level, would carry on, but it would soon revert to its simple animal nature.

You have three choices for your life.

  1. Enjoy the experiences, no matter how you have learnt to label them, surrendering into the knowledge that you are here to do just that.
  2. Emulate a Buddhist monk and only eat, drink, breathe and live in places that allow the highest absorption of light, creating shorter and shorter wave lengths in each electron, aiming to just disappear, and become light once more.
  3. Find a balance between both. Eat and drink those things that contain electrons that are vibrating very quickly (contain more light). Live in the places that emanate these shorter wave lengths but enjoy being able to feel (through electromagnetic forces colliding) the things in the physical world around you. Enjoy your sensuality, the love and the heartbreak, the taste of amazing cakes, the sun on your face, the human touch.


Most of the people reading this will have chosen number 3…and you really have a choice, neither is better than the other, all help the shift into higher consciousness for humanity, the Earth and the Universe. We will still get dragged into SOME drama, but now we understand why it is easier to watch on as the observer, allowing the ego the experience, and moving on quickly to the next experience. We don’t have to berate ourselves or wonder why we haven’t learnt from previous experiences. We may want to look at what we have been nourishing our body with, leading to the event, in case we over indulged in lower vibrational energy going INTO our body, from food, drink, places, or people. We may want to check what was happening in the cosmos, or with the sun, and what energy waves were permeating our bodies, building up the radioactive charge (read the articles to find out more on this.) But we don’t need to apportion blame, judgement, or any other negative that will slow down those electron waves in every cell of our body and give the nucleus another negatively charged memory to store. That makes no sense whatsoever once you understand the science.

We are in a privileged position as humans, no matter what our ‘position’ within our society. We have the ability to CHOOSE. Always. The only thing that stops most people choosing to feel better is a misunderstanding of who and what they are. AND, how much the vibration of that which you nourish yourself with, makes a huge difference to what you are.

Would you prefer to have every electron in your body moving slowly in great long lengths…sounds depressing, doesn’t it? Well, it really is!

Or would you prefer those electrons to be zipping around each cell, little, short, bouncy waves of light? Just reading that is energizing!

I know which I prefer.


Other scientific articles of interest:

Image credit (and great read!):


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By Kirsten Ivatts

Kirsten Ivatts is a guide, mentor and Soul Friend to the awakened Soul. She is an author, interdimensional traveller, galactic shaman, oracle, teacher and healer.

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1 Comment

  1. Wow! That was a mind-blowing read!


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