I am aware you know very little about my personal story. And you may not want to! But if you do, read on and I will share a little.
I am not a religious Guru, though some people have treated me like a Guru at times. I am an ordinary person, with extraordinary perceptions about life. They are only extraordinary to others. I find them quite ordinary because they are a match to my alignment and I have always possessed them in some degree.
My slant has always been to teach, or rather to share wisdom and knowledge. I am not great at participating in any kind of hierarchy.
I am not better than anyone in anyway, I am just me, and I am happy to share me with you.
When I was young, I dreamt of being a Nun. But I soon realised that to be a Nun I had to be religious, and the family religion of Catholicism did not suit me, or my mother, who didn’t carry it on herself. I was free to be a spiritual being without being limited by religion. My first explorations into spirituality were my interactions with nature. Nature was where I felt most at home. I was always welcomed, and I was always nurtured. I can say now that I absorbed a lot of spirituality through being part of the natural world, the flowers, grasses and trees, insects, rodents, and my many animal friends, especially cats and horses. I explored nature and in return she imparted her wisdom into the open mind of a young child.
As I journeyed through school, I found I was happier in nature or with animals than with people. The life of a Nun in a sanctuary seemed even more appealing, but the religion was not. I could not be confined to a dogma, as much as I could not be confined to any sort of rigidity, although I did try to fit in. I always had friends and was often the one who took the lead. What set me apart from people was, I didn’t see the world in the same ways they did. I always knew there was so much more. I always FELT there was so much more.
My navigation system has been through feeling. Although I can be a very practical person, it is my extrasensory perception that guides me, and resonance through the heart. When I arrived at my teenage years this caused a lot of confusion for me, because the world was far too logical and far too linear. Although my childhood had been secure and happy, my spirituality never put into a box, my explorations and creativity never hampered by my Mum and Stepfather, my relationship with my biological father caused a lot of insecurity, mainly because he lived so far away and his world view was different to my mothers’. When two parents have different parenting styles it can cause a lot of confusion in a child. As we unwrap ourselves from our parents in our teens and try to discover who we are, their genes and perspectives on life still govern us. This pot of beliefs, life constructs, personalities and conflicts is something we wish to rebel against in our teens, making this a difficult period in our lives.
I always saw the best in others, I always looked for the beauty around me. And soon the world showed me that beauty is mostly skin deep when it comes to people. Yet still I persevered in looking for the good in everyone, much to my parents’ despair! The boyfriends who were tortured souls, must have given them nightmares. But I always saw past the problems they had, right to the core of the person. And so far, in my 54 years on this planet I have never found the core of a person to be anything but beautiful. Perhaps I am lucky.
I kept quiet about my pregnancy, even though I knew I was pregnant from that very night. I was 6 months pregnant when my parents found out. I knew this child had to be born, and I knew I was going to be the mother, and he wouldn’t be taken from me. It made sense to me to makes sure of this by keeping quiet. There was talk of adoption only once, with the doctor. Later I found out that my Nana (catholic matriarch of our family who had 15 pregnancies and 13 children), had told my mother that she would adopt the baby if needed, because he wasn’t to leave the family. I honestly learnt so much from this strong head of our family, and her Irish Catholic values around family and children.
And so, I became a mother at the point in life where many are figuring out who they were and what they wanted to be. I finished school and went on to sixth form college for a while. We still lived at home, and I must have been sheltered from the judgements of others, because I hardly ever came across any. But being a teenage Mum is still hard. I remember the day when the responsibility hit me as a heavy weight upon my shoulders. My child was around 3 months old. That weight not only meant I had tense and sore shoulders for years, but it also sent me on a journey that ultimately led me to this day, a journey of creating a life where I was far too hard on myself and was not good at receiving help or anything else from others, believing the responsibility of me and my children (I have four) was mine alone. I also thought that my way to bring up children was the only way, and that men didn’t know how to be good at parenting, and so I attracted men that were NOT great at parenting, but that I could always see the light and beauty in the centre of their being. I would over commit to them, and to my children, as if I had to prove to the world that I was responsible, I was amazing at what I did, and I was independent. I have to add here that my eldest son has proved to me better than anyone, just how good men can be at parenting!
This path of challenges I created for myself gave me many growth points. I had times of great anger, and times where I was depleted. There were many times of darkness, but I kept going, and these all brought me back to my search for who I was, and the spiritual journey.
My strong connection to nature eventually took me to Druidry. Rather than witchcraft, Druidry tied in with my love of history, mythology and my natural shamanistic abilities. In my years as a druid, I learnt to deepen my connection to my ancestors, to local spirits and entities, and to the land. I learnt to bring online an awareness I had left behind in childhood, with fresh eyes and a more evolved brain to understand it. I would walk through woods with my eyes closed, tuning into the trees, feeling their different energies as I walked, feeling where their roots were beneath the ground, always in the pit of my belly. I could see the matrices around them too. I saw nature spirits and felt the ancient presence within the hills behind where I lived. I became more in tune with the moon and her cycles, and through her to my own body. And I absorbed more of Mother Earth into my being.
She shot me skywards.
After my Druid phase my interests became more cosmic. I learnt about other planets, star systems, ET’s and ancient cultures that seemed to have connected with cosmic visitors’ eons before.
I was honing other abilities through energy work. My stepfather was a hands on healer, a tarot reader and a channel. I had been reading tarot and oracle cards from the age of 20, and now decided to really explore channelling. I seemed to be someone who picked up on passing frequencies that had a message rather than channelling any one group. I had encounters regularly with Isis, who became Kuan Yin, who became Kali, who was always Gaia too. I eventually came to recognise that I was very much plugged in to the Divine Feminine in all her varied forms. I also had messages from Archangels, and from other beings. I felt like my antennae was there in the sky (metaphorically) and who ever used my frequency allowed me to download the messages.
This spiritual work has progressed into multi and inter dimensional travelling as a dragon rider, creating portals and flying through them to many strange and wonderful places. Some of these travels are to help me grow, but many are to bring back information for humanity. My mission is simple. To bring in the information that will harmonise and align others with the 5th dimensional reality Earth is evolving into. I work with The 9, my Soul group, and the highest evolution of my Soul so far, to bring in messages and guidance. All of my work focuses on aligning people with LOVE and showing them where they are still aligned with FEAR. I couldn’t do this if I hadn’t been through the many challenges my life has brought me, and if I wasn’t evolving out of this fear myself.
I am grateful for the dark times, for they have always brought me more light.
0 Comments