Why Does Love Hurt?

There was a song by Haddaway, that came to my mind this morning because the opening lyrics were as follows;

‘What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me, Don’t hurt me no more.’

This prompted the question, Why does love hurt?

We are being told, through so many channels that the Universal energy that our lives are based around is Love. In fact we are told that in reality Love is all there is. But why then does something that is supposed to be so beautiful, so inspiring and uplifting (and is in fact all of those things), cause someone to write such lyrics?

How many of you reading this have experienced pain caused by someone you love, either romantically or otherwise? I would say everyone, unless you live a completely solitary life. I know I have had my share!

I asked Archangel Zaphkiel for help with answering this question. So here goes…..Archangel Zaphkiel, Why Does Love Hurt?

‘Love, ah the concept of which humanity is still learning. Love in itself does not hurt, it is in fact an impossibility. Love is an all encompassing energy that is around you always no matter how low you may feel or how absent it seems from your lives. Love is a simple yet profoundly complicated concept, of which it will be many centuries before humanity fully understands. So quite simply your question, from our place of standing does not make sense. Love cannot hurt.

So what you are labelling as love is not really love at all. Love is a wondrous feeling of completeness, happiness, joy and abundance. Love is felt only in the heart, and you may have felt a small part of it when gazing at a loved one, or thinking of a loved one. Love holds no room for judgement or conditions to make it work. It just is.

When you say ‘love hurts’ this is actually your notion, as a collective, of what love must be as you know it as nothing else. Yet your expanded awareness is beginning to see that love is other than this. This awareness is coming to many now, and it is beginning in the hearts of the individuals with realisation that love not only connects you to the Divine but also to yourself. In fact you have been going about loving the wrong way round. You, as a group collective search for love outside of yourselves. You feel that love should be given to you by another. In a way this is a searching, by the soul for the feeling of all pervading love that the soul knows exists on the level of the Divine. But the human mind struggles to realise this and so there is confusion. Humanity is slowly, and this will gather speed now, coming to see that love is gained by going internally. Love comes from within. Love is something you must first feel, for yourself, in your own heart. This then sparks a connection, an awakening, a remembering by the soul, of the direction that love comes from. To reach love, to realise that all there is is love, to feel Divine all encompassing love you must go into the heart and through to the other side.

The pain of love is actually the pain of rejection. The fear of rejection, the fear of loss. That is not love for the love vibration is much finer and lighter. This pain comes because you are attempting to find love outside of yourselves.

Now you are asking me ‘Why do I feel so much love, in my heart for my partner then, as he is outside of me?’

Is he?

You, Kirsten, have worked hard in your life to understand love, in fact it has been part of your mission to understand it on its many levels. This has given you a strength. You know that, for instance, the loss of your Mother isn’t the end. That love is not over because it exists as a whole all around you at all times. The Mother and Daughter love you had was a part of that whole and not ‘all there was’. It is like this with your partner. You do feel love for him in your heart, you do feel connection to him, but you have also learnt to stand as an individual at his side and not give yourself over into that love, so in other words you do not rely on that love to exist. You know it is part of a whole, and all though it WOULD hurt, emotionally, as a human if you lost him, you also understand that you would carry on as that love is never lost to you, only the projection of it onto another.

As was mentioned above Humanity is newly awakening to what love REALLY is. It will take much evolution before you can comprehend it fully. But this will come the more the lighter 5th dimensional energies come into being through you.

So we tell you, Love does not hurt. It is an impossibility! Love is joy, abundance, light, love is energy so high and all encompassing that so many haven’t ever even experienced it. They have only experienced a tiny reflection of what their soul knows as love.’


I thank Archangel Zaphkiel for his help in this. I also apologise for the personal bit in here, I thought the question as the channel was coming through. I think it helps the answer though so I will leave it in!

I think my phrase for today is this; ‘Stand inside your love.’

Always come from a place of complete love for who you are. Then the world will see you as a whole, complete, and Divinely guided individual, and not someone falling quietly apart on the inside. By standing inside your love you will allow your light to shine out into the world, because it will be back lit by your connection to the Universal energy called LOVE.

Kirsten Ivatts



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