While I was brushing my teeth today, my daughter, who was playing in the bath, asked me to do something for her. I got an instant rising of hot frustrated energy up through my body to my solar plexus and I thought ‘GIVE ME A MINUTE!’
Instantly I was aware that this is something I have worked on in the past, that feeling of never having time to do my own thing, no matter how small or unimportant that thing is. I couldn’t let this opportunity to work more on this ‘GIVE ME A MINUTE’, that I thought I had worked on in the past, go to waste, so towel clad I stood in the bedroom and started tapping on GIVE ME A MINUTE. As I tapped the frustrations, anger, resentments came to the surface, and gave me a feeling of chronic acid in my stomach. They then moved into my chest where I felt it hard to breath. I kept tapping and then had a big realisation! This is what I love about Energy work….the evolution that happens, the realisations of what the real cause is behind something (oh and there can be more than one!).
It suddenly dawned as I tapped that the reason that I constantly FEEL like I have no time for my own things, even though I actually, logically have plenty of time, is because of all the SHOULD HAVES and SHOULD NOTS and COULD HAVES and COULD NOTS that have plagued my life for years. Of course these are self-imposed chains that we manacle ourselves with, they are ideas, thoughts that create energy. The problem is that this energy is in opposition to what I would term, Soul Energy, the Energy of BEING rather than DOING, the energy of NOW rather than past or future. So I have been battling for years with these self-imposed chains (not the only ones I might add!). Of course this makes me feel angry, frustrated, that is what fighting brings up. It also brings fear, the root cause of all negatives, and I have a fear that I won’t have the time in this life to ever do what I want to do.
I often have found myself feeling like I want to be creative, yet I think, ‘No, look at the house, you should clean it,’ or I feel like a lazy day, just doing what I want to do and I hear an echo of my ex husband in ‘You should be looking for work, not sitting around doing nothing’, or I feel like I could be so successful in something, and I hear, ‘You couldn’t because you have children to look after.’ None of these really make any sense, but when the mind is fogged because of an energy system in disarray, because of aspects that are angry or hurting, then it makes perfect sense!
So I started tapping on ‘I don’t want the Should’s and could’s. I realised as I tapped that some of these are attached to other people’s energy, and past situations, causing blocks in my system. The energy kept rising up and out of my throat as I tapped, I was yawning and sighing it out like crazy! I kept adding other thoughts as they appeared, tapping them away, and the energy kept rising, very acidic and coming out. I kept dancing, moving, trying to help it budge physically. I was softening and flowing the energy like crazy in between tapping, seeing it coming out of my mouth.
And now? Well I feel lighter but also clearer, and you will only GET what I mean by that if you have ever released energy that was blocked. There is a new shiny clarity to all you see, a new depth of understanding to be applied to your life. I am hoping I have put this feeling of NO TIME to rest now once and for all. I cannot feel it in relation to this moment, I feel like I have as much time as I need and could wish for. I am so glad that I am AWARE of these events when they happen and also that I allow myself to do something about it there and then.
I have been thinking today, how to reword my services on my website. I have so many and I want to just offer one thing, my talents as an Energist which actually cover everything that I offer at present, plus my writing, poetry and my art work. What makes me an Energist? My understanding of the energy system, how it works, how to help it, how to see, hear, feel and touch it, how to intuit its needs, and how the energy system of each and every one of us is part of a much larger energy system.
Being an Energist isn’t about the skills you use, as much as it is about the understanding behind them, and seeing how to use those skills to show an individual how to be the one thing we all want over anything else, LOVED. Love brings, joy, happiness, more energy! And feeling loved is what you get when your energy system is running clear and bright, fully functioning.
So today I am going to think carefully about the wording on my website. I so want to help others to have the tools in their life to be aware where they have blocked energy, and how to go about tackling it. After all, in the words of Silvia Hartmann, ‘IT’S ONLY ENERGY!’
And that is all it is.