I stand here in January 2014 and look at my life, my desires, what has gone wrong, what has gone right, and I come to a realisation. I am not getting it all right. I am getting something’s right, but my career area is failing me. I have spent the last three to four years working my butt off, trying to help others through spiritual guidance and healing, through sharing what I have learnt. And I HAVE helped many, but I haven’t earned a living. I have tried everything I know of to earn a living and it hasn’t happened. I have HELPED our financial situation, as a family, in fits and starts, but it cannot be relied on. And I have become tired of it. I am tired of working so hard, toiling at a computer learning how, and then putting into action ways of being noticed on the internet, using blogs, social networks, etc, etc. I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!
I am demoralised, I am disheartened and I am sick and tired of it. Don’t get me wrong I have learnt a lot, and I have furthered my own spiritual path and understanding. And perhaps that is all I was supposed to do. I have a yearning to help others, through guidance and teaching, but I am not sure if this is the way to do it. I have tried all the methods out there, worked on energetic reversals ( I still don’t like charging to help others), I have healed many things in the process and found many facets to who I am that I didn’t know of.
Over the last three weeks I have hardly gone near a computer, and it feels good. It feels like I am regaining my life and my family. Of course the downside is I am not earning any money, because I am not spending every waking hour trying to earn money. And in that there is a clue. If it ain’t working after all this time, I’m either missing the point entirely or I am not doing what I should be doing!
I am telling you this, as it is what I do. When I am unsure, sad, down, happy, excited, inspired, I write it down. So writing continues, as it is a part of who I am. As for the rest…..who knows. But I have made one resolution for this year…..I am going to find out what the hell I can do to earn a living and feel good about doing it!!!