We all go through times where we feel insecure about how much to charge clients, and if our clients are getting their moneys worth from us as practitioners. This applies for anyone who is self employed.
I had just such a moment at the weekend. I have no idea where it sprung from, it came out of the blue, and as such I thought it should be dealt with there and then.
When I asked myself what the best way to tackle this was I received clearly that I needed to look for missing events.
Missing events are events that never occurred, but if they did, would make you see the world quite differently, or feel differently about something. If you like they are the missing nutrition for our energy system, without which we cannot feel complete, happy and secure in who we are.
We all have MANY missing events and they are a great thing to work with and investigate. As such I thought I would share with you what I did to find the answer to this sudden insecurity that had arisen.
I wondered what missing events there were to make me feel this way and found there were many, all in jobs where I worked for others. These were all working with animals, and I gave my all, and more than that in my work. But the nutritious energy of money that I needed to receive in return was not there, so the balance was disrupted, and that receiving area of my life was severely malnourished.
I visited all of these jobs and gave each aspect ( the me that was in that situation then), what they needed which was a salary that truly reflected the amount of work done, their knowledge at the time, and a proper living wage. I got such a sense of satisfaction in the stomach area from this, a real filling of a gap that I was aware had been present for a long time. It also made me realise how important it is to be paid per how much you give, not just in money and work, but in anything.
I then was drawn to look at the aspect who has worked her ass off for the last thirty years being a mother, partner, wife, and everything else that entails, and has also tried to be an upstanding human being, daughter, friend, and also has tried to find ways to earn some money at the same time as all this. This aspect had NOT had anything like as much back as she had given. This aspect was sorely lacking in the receiving and felt taken for granted, resentful and very under nourished.
She received an outstanding achievement award. The audience were family and friends, partners and ex husband, and my four children who cheered wildly at the front. The person giving the speech and handing over the award….my father, the one person I always felt couldn’t see past the fact that I hadn’t gone out and earned lots of money, because instead, my life path had given me children that I felt I should pay attention to, be around for, and mother, to the best of my abilities.
His speech addressed all points that I felt he misunderstood, or didn’t appreciate. I cried real tears as I listened. The award, a trophy, was full of champagne that I needed to drink. And I felt peculiar after.
I felt huge. I felt like at last I was a mother, a proper one. I also realised how I had pushed this aspect away, not given her enough due myself, how she had existed behind a veil. I saw just how much she had achieved and learnt, and how undervalued she had been by all, but especially me.
I then visited her as myself, and found her tired, shabby, and still not her sparkling self. I know she needed ME to do something for her, not just to have the missing event with all those others.
And suddenly I held in my hand, a diploma from the University of Life, a degree, a first, in parenting, motherhood and all round emotional and mental support for others. She was overwhelmed at first, seeing her name there. She hadn’t been recognised for all the wisdom she held, for all that she had done.
And this aspect unzipped her motherhood suit, and came out, a sparkling and beautiful being of light. She had reached the pinnacle, when we looked round it was actually Mount Olympus that we stood on. All that we needed to learn on this subject was done, we just hadn’t realised it. We had gone further than many ever did, and we could now see that we no longer had to work our ass off at this. In fact there were new exciting things to learn, to work our way up in, and they were to do with earning money in new ways, life changing and fun ways. We were still beginners on that adventure, but that made it exciting fresh and new.
I am now looking at all I have learnt from just half an hours work on myself, how different I am feeling, and I am wondering if I am still giving far more than I receive in return.
I am wondering now if I am charging far too little!!
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