Happiness and Upheaval (AGAIN!)

Well what a ride the weekend was! I will try and explain it as best I can.

Saturday was a beautiful sunny day and I awoke feeling tired but well. I decided to meditate while taking a nice hot bath as my neck and shoulders have been sore, causing tension headaches since the Full Moon.

I chose some relaxing music that has the sound of the ocean within it and happily lay back on the sandy, warm beach this always conjures. The sound of the sea lapping on the shore, warm sand holding me safely. I had buried my fingers within the sand and was enjoying the smell of the salt when suddenly I wasn’t there, but was facing the wall that I came across in my Akashic meditation (to read follow link). http://thelightofyoursoul.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/understandings-before-the-equinox/

This time there were a few bricks that had re-emerged to about head height, but they were virtually transparent. As I looked at them they melted once more into rainbows at my feet and the road ahead was open in front of me. This time I felt an urge to walk it. I didn’t get far before I just sat down. Around me on three sides was a misty white nothingness, but ahead were those same ghostly golden some things, they still weren’t defined, but they look like structures of some kind.

Then suddenly the golden man that arrived at the end of another meditation (see link) was in front of me. http://thelightofyoursoul.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/powerful-pre-equinox-meditation/

Golden Man

This time I knew him, or rather my Soul knew him before my brain understood. I got a whoosh of love energy, in other words Kundalini, straight up my spine and into my chest then out of the top of my head and into my surrounding energy body. My skin was alive! We rushed together like magnets, and merged, including sexually! I saw my body as silver and his as gold and I welcomed him with every atom of my being. It was an experience that is very hard to put into words!

Then my brain caught up on it all and I knew who he was. He was the missing part of my partners Soul, his Higher Self, the shadow of which I have known was within him since I first saw his eyes and had that jolt of recognition.

My partner is very much my opposite, and although he is supportive of my own work, he doesn’t believe in life in the same way as I do. But slowly I have watched as he begins to change, not into being exactly like me, but into being who he is becoming. And now here was the part of him that I had always felt was missing, come to help him further his own quest as a Soul in human form.

I was shown an image from above of my partner. We couldn’t see him for dark clouds, and I urged his Higher Self, who was slightly hesitant in how to proceed, to allow a chink of his magnificence to penetrate those clouds (mostly stress and unresolved grief). And so he reached a hand into the clouds, which then seeped into his arm, making it grey too. I touched him and together we fought the grey, until it only encompassed his hand. I have spent the weekend engaging with him, urging him on, uniting with him. The progress is slow but if it were otherwise it is likely to cause madness I think! And I have noticed some changes, albeit slight, but fingers crossed a new beginning is happening within his life. It certainly is in mine!

After this meditation I pulled my cards for the day from two different decks. One was from the Isis deck, Uniting with Your Angelic Self and the other was the Sundancers from the Hidden realms deck, showing a pair of merged winged beings dancing upwards into light!

Then Sunday dawned. I hadn’t slept well and I awoke feeling not quite right. It was like someone had muddied my waters and I was shown a pond where the bottom had been disturbed and tiny black negative particles were dancing everywhere. Everything I have been working on seemed to reappear in some form or another yesterday. I stood back and watched in astonishment as my Egoic self dealt badly with a lot of them. I just had to go with the flow of it all, and keep asking for help for it all to be released once and for all. These last few weeks there has definitely been a taking apart and rebuilding going on, and these pieces must have been the bits left over from the old that now had no place in the new. It was like I wasn’t sure what to do with them. I wanted to bin them but couldn’t decide if they had appeared because they still had some usefulness.

Before bed, things had calmed a lot but I still felt unsettled, so I once more sat in meditation, but this time I asked to be taken to the temple of Isis for healing.

After following a dark and dank tunnel for a while I entered a dimly lit room where a very tall and VERY luminous Goddess virtually blinded me with her presence. I was told to sit on a large velvet cushion on the floor and then the Goddess sat in front of me and became three. She wasn’t the traditional Triple Goddess, but seemed to be three Goddesses, obviously embodying the full range of Divine Feminine. The luminescence eased and in front of me sat a Goddess with a painted face, very Asian, and I immediately got the name Kuan Yin. Isis sat to my right and to my left was Brighid. It escaped my notice at that time that each of these come from a culture I have massive spiritual and past life ties with.

Brighid first handed me a gift. It was a tiny Rose Quartz bottle, pyramid shaped. I drank the liquid from it and found it bitter. She didn’t explain further, just nodded, and I got the feeling that this was something that would work its effects gradually.

Next Kuan Yin handed me a multi faceted round crystal, much like the glass ones you can buy on sun catchers, yet I was told this was fashioned of clear Quartz. I was told to place it on my chest where it stuck and then gradually sank within. I felt this one instantly, as a big flash of energy through my chest, radiating into every other area of my body and beyond.

Lastly Isis handed me a flower, daisy like, with a yellow centre. The petals kept changing colour between deep red and deep sky blue. As I watched I felt a rocking begin in my body between my throat chakra and my root chakra with my solar plexus as the central pivot. The rocking became intense, the energy moving back and forth in an arcing motion, and I was made aware that I needed to balance these two chakras and the Solar Plexus (always my problem area) was the point of balance. I need to sit down properly when I get a minute to work this out fully and do some chakra work, although I do feel that things were healed and balanced last night.



(Three Goddesses – Speed Paint by Mudora)

Eventually this intense energy manipulation subsided and the whole flower turned pink, lighter in the centre and magenta on the petals. I was told to keep checking the flower regularly and it would show me which chakras needed attention.

I was blown away by all these gifts and the healing I was given. Today I have awoken feeling whole, yet strange, as if wholeness is a feeling I need to get used to! It probably is.

What I would like to share with you all from this is, we are constantly cycling through and releasing what isn’t needed any longer. A lot of us are going through a complete overhaul of who we are and it is unsettling. But please know, this is a good thing. All the upheaval and change is very positive. Just keep asking for help, meditate as much as possible, to provide channels for that help to come, and try and be a conscious observer of your life, your reactions, and what your body is telling you.

It IS worth the effort.

Kirsten Ivatts


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