Embracing Your Traits.

There is a reason you were born in a certain time and a certain place. There is a reason that you have the parents you do. There is a reason that you have so called ‘traits’, that you, and perhaps others, judge you by.

You choose them so that you have the best chance to succeed in this life time, at what it is you came here to do.

Now I am expecting, at least a few of you reading this, to be staring at the screen saying, why would I pick parents such as those, or how can this part of me, that I spend each day trying to heal, or even eradicate, be something I chose?

You have to remember that you are unique. This means that you may look similar to the rest of your species, but in fact, you are not the SAME as anyone else. If you are not the same as anyone else, how can a general judgement, such as, for example,  calling yourself lazy, apply to you? Laziness is a generality. It is also a word used to goad a population into work.

I would like you, today, to list all the things about yourself that you THINK you have to change. Look at how you judge yourself, how you compare yourself to others.

Now take a long hard look at each of those things on that list. Stand back from the meaning of the word a little and just for a moment think about how that ‘trait’ is actually a tiny diamond sparkling in the longest grass. Look at what you GAIN from having this trait. Look at what having this trait has taught you, how it has made the person you are today, and perhaps….even…..how wonderful that person really is!

Remember that your Higher Self is infinitely wise. It chose you to be as you are for a reason. If you are supposed to be…lazy….why is that? What do you gain from it?

Does it make you more aware of what is really going on in the world, as you do not rush into things? Are you ‘lazy’ because you like to experience each and every moment? Do you, perhaps, not want to work, because everything about work causes you some sort of stress, or anxiety, or you don’t fit in with the conventional view of the working world?

We seek answers to lifes puzzling questions in others, but all the answers are within your own personality, or what your personality has become through the experiences you have had.

We look to improve ourselves continually, but…just what if…..there was nothing that needed to be improved? What if, all you need is a change of perspective? And what if this change of perspective started to give you answers and freed you from years of self judgement and recrimination?

I urge you, today, to set the intention to start viewing yourself as a unique individual. An individual who is governed by their own rules, who is here, in this moment with all the seemingly good and bad aspects of their personality, and is absolutely perfect in every way. Is absolutely the only person who can achieve what your Soul set out to achieve in this lifetime (and you don’t have to know what that is!)

I urge you to tune out from the stressed rantings of others as they strengthen your own belief that you are ‘lazy’, or anything else that is negative, because they are not you. They have their own self to work out, and to understand, and are just as self critical as you are.

Don’t allow yourself to be judged, and also, don’t do the judging!


Now back to those parents. Whether your parents were wonderful, or whether they struggled to cope, you chose to be born to them to learn something. You can be negative here and say, ‘Yeah they taught me to not stand up for myself, to back down, to be scared of relationships….’

There are so many ways people blame their parents for how they are today. Well its time to stop the blame and see what your parents good or bad parenting skills actually gave you. Perhaps you are meant to learn something from all those negatives. Perhaps there is a gift in there, a great big huge gift, that, if you recognise it, even slightly, and accept that gift, then you may just prosper in ways the you now could never imagine!

In reality there is no good or bad, there just IS. We have been taught to judge every experience we have and place it in one of those categories, but we don’t have to do that. We can just call anything an experience, accept it as such, and carry on.

So start being aware of the duality of good and bad, the ways you and others judge, the traits in you, those shadows that you wish to get rid of, and change your perception. Ask yourself, ‘What gift is there for me in this?’ or ‘What can I gain from this?’

Sometimes the answer will come quickly, sometimes it won’t be as obvious. But the more you look at these things positively, the more you will see your life turn around, and it will become obvious that embracing yourself, shadow and all, is a far more enjoyable way to live.


John Hain
By John Hain Pixabay.com

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