We have packed a lot into the last five days, and I hope you are finding the exercises useful and enlightening.
Today we will start with our usual practice of standing in front of our magic mirror and exclaiming with passion, ‘I love you! You are beautiful just the way you are!’ And finish it off with a smile, a laugh, a dance, whatever feels most appropriate!
Then spend a few minutes in your heart space growing that flame of light. How big has it become? Is it easier now to do this? How do you feel after? Write your experiences down in your journal and look back to day one, taking a bit of time to see just how far you have come in just 5 days!
The interesting thing about learning to love yourself fully and unconditionally is that your relationships with others change too, without you having to do anything. In fact you have really done something huge, you’ve changed on the inside, and this then changes your perception of the world around you.
So today I want to look at relationships with others.
You can choose any relationship to work on, it doesn’t have to be a romantic one. Which relationship is causing you problems at present?
Take a pen and paper and make two columns. In the first column write down all the problems that you can see in the relationship, including the things you think you are getting wrong personally. Be honest with yourself here. It’s worth taking a bit of time over this.
Now in column two I want you to write down, for each problem or insight, what you would LIKE it to be instead. So if you have written, ‘I find John’s habit of ignoring me when he is with his friends, annoying, demeaning and it makes me feel unloved,’ you could write ‘When John is with his friends, perhaps he just doesn’t want me around. But that’s ok, I have better things to do that will make me feel, happy, peaceful, loved.’ Then write a list of all the things you COULD be doing when John is with his friends.
The point of this exercise is three-fold. Firstly by writing down the problems and how they make you feel, you can stand back from the issues and get a clearer view. Secondly by writing down how you would like to change something and what you would like to change it to, you are making your mind view the problem in a different way, from a loving perspective. You are saying, I don’t want that in my life, I want this instead because that will make me happy. The next time the issue comes up your mind will remember this and begin to urge you into doing something different instead of being stuck in the same old cycle that is getting you nowhere.
And lastly you can delve a little deeper and look, taking the example above, at why John ignores you when he is with his friends. Looking from his perspective perhaps he wants time and space away from you. That isn’t a negative thing and it isn’t something you should take personally either. All relationships need space within them for each person to be themselves, and not the person that they THINK they have to be to make the other happy. Where women will explain their feelings, men will tend to state what they want and don’t want in a plainer fashion….except, of wait, no they won’t because then the woman they love will take offense! So instead tension builds, and men keep things to themselves, and then women feel shut out and wonder why he isn’t talking to them, or why he is acting a certain way. You can change this, whether a man or a woman, by firstly loving yourself unconditionally and then looking at how you can use this same love on all your other relationships without being hurt by something that is unintentional and misunderstood.
This is a great exercise that you can try on all relationships. Have a go, and see what new insights emerge. Then start to change that rut you have been stuck in!
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